Ratte rattle

When I was little, I was out playing football. I was wearing quite baggy trousers, so there was a lot of room, and I also really needed a shite. Due in part to laziness, I continued playing football while my cargo slowly slipped out with every movement I made. Soon enough, I'm running around playing football as if everything's fine, with a huge link freely rattling around in my pants like a pea in a whistle. When I got in to inspect the damage, my pants had a healthy tan, and I stood in the bathroom scrubbing at them with toilet roll, which just made it much worse.